THE COUCH: A LEGAL POSITION PAPER
There has been some confusion in this household regarding the ownership of the couch, and I would like to resolve it permanently, in writing, on the internet, where things are true forever.
The couch is mine.
Mommy and daddy are of course welcome to use the couch at any time that I am not on it. That time does not exist, but the offer is sincere and I think it reflects well on me.
People ask me: Misa, what do you actually do on the couch? And I say: I do the couch. That's the whole job. I have been doing it since I was extremely small and I have gotten very good at it.