▓ EVERY ENTRY ▓ 10 of them ▓ newest on top ▓
MY BEST FRIEND WILLOW: A CHARACTER REFERENCE
posted September 5, 2026 · willow · friends · couch · brown-truck
I have a best friend. Her name is Willow, she is a white labrador, she belongs to a friend of daddy's, and when she comes over the day is cancelled and replaced with Willow.
MY MOTHER IS GETTING MARRIED & I HAVE TRIED ON THE VEIL
posted September 3, 2026 · wedding · mommy · the-poodle
Enormous news in this household. Somebody put a veil on my head, and nobody has denied that I am the bride.
IT WAS MOMMY'S BIRTHDAY & THEY LABELLED THE POODLE
posted August 30, 2026 · birthday · mommy · the-poodle
It was mommy's birthday and I was put to work. They wrote POODLE on the sign and drew an arrow. I was not labelled.
ME & MY ASSOCIATE
posted August 27, 2026 · the-cat
People assume the cat and I are rivals. People are wrong. She takes the high ground, I take the kitchen approach, and between us very little goes unaccounted for.
THE MILK INCIDENT: A STATEMENT
posted August 12, 2026 · food · crime
I would like to address the rumours circulating in this household. Yes, that is me. Yes, that is the milk. But consider the full context.
IT IS HOT & NOBODY IS DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT
posted August 2, 2026 · heat · the-cat · daddy
Somebody has left the sun completely on and there is no one in charge of it. I have located the only shade on this property and I am not negotiating.
DADDY MADE ME GO "FOR A RUN" — I DID NOT CONSENT
posted July 19, 2026 · running · daddy
Every so often my father gets an idea. What follows is a photographic record of my collapse, in the order presented.
I FOUND A STICK & IT IS MINE NOW
posted July 11, 2026 · walks · stick
THIS is a walk. Nobody threw this stick. I located it independently, in the wild, and carried it for one full mile.
THE COUCH: A LEGAL POSITION PAPER
posted June 28, 2026 · couch · hedgehog
There has been some confusion regarding the ownership of the couch. I would like to resolve it permanently, in writing, on the internet.
THE BROWN TRUCK MAN ★ VIDEO ★
posted June 14, 2026 · brown-truck · video
Real footage of me performing my job. A large brown truck comes to my property. A man gets out. He has never once brought me a snack.
▓▓ THAT IS EVERYTHING ▓▓ FOR NOW ▓▓ I AM NOT DONE ▓▓